In the "About Me" box to your right, I stated that I would share some insight (at some point) as to who I am... Not that you would necessarily care, but it is a promise I made myself and today is the day I am making that promise come true. For me.
I guess this is the part where some people say things like: "I love animals. I like playing sports and I love reading cookbooks. I like taking pictures with my friends. I'm a proud owner of 4 different kinds of shovels... I'm in love with Brad Pitt. I only listen to faith-based music. I love poker night. Gardening at night relaxes me. Hiking, fishing, and roller skating are just a few of my hobbies. I have 2 grappling hooks. I secretly read trashy novels that are never made into movies. I love scuba diving off the coast of Florida. I hate Monday mornings... I collect butterfly stickers. I love researching salt water aquarium filtration systems. I love swimming in the lake with my dogs. Blah, blah, blah, Blah, Blah, blah, blah, blah, Blah................"
Now then... From me. To you.
CAUTION: The upcoming words and passages may shed very little light, but they just might open up a window... or three. Who knows? Please keep in mind that I'm still very green to all of this, but as the label read on the bottle last night, I will say this... This blog (or chalkboard) is 'brewed with passion for quality.' I'm still not certain how that applies, but last night it made sense. What I'm trying to say is... I have a certain passion for certain things and On My Sleeve is no exception. It's hardly perfect and I really don't know what I would compare it to... What I do know is that the previous 30 posts are here for a reason. Few and far between, I know, but I assure you that I'm trying to make some sense of something... Of it all. Whatever "it" is... In my own way. So... Thank you for reading and thank you for caring enough to visit my little corner of the classroom. It means so much...
I'm ready.
The picture above? A shipwreck sitting on the smallest of the Aran Islands chilling out in the mouth of Galway Bay on the west coast of Ireland... Inisheer. I took this picture around 10 in the morning in the month of September in 2007. I was drawn to it...
Why "on my sleeve" and why does it matter? I suppose the title doesn't matter, but when I put this thing together, it was the only title that complimented the thoughts swirling around in my tummy. Ask me what you should wear to the wedding and I will respond with... "Whatever you wear, wear it on your sleeve." Let it show, y'know? Hide in plain sight and wear it proud. Let your myth shine and let the world see you for who you are and what you represent... Your ghost, past and present. It's kind of like letting the soul live on the outside for a few... At least until the end of the show.
Benbrook? It's the place I'll always call home. It's where the fireflies always flickered the brightest... Benbrook is that single mason jar I grew up in and I'll always be grateful for the memories that were created there... To me, it's a symbol. Visit Robot Park. Watch Disney cartoons in the Benbrook Elementary Cafetorium (part cafeteria/part auditorium - you probably put that one together). Carnival Day celebrating the harvest with fire engines and hay rides and cake walks... And this is just the beginning... There is so much more to talk about here and if you can tell, I'm a bit nostalgic when it comes to Benbrook and my childhood. Speaking of nostalgia, my first post on 1/13 should explain it all...
Me? I suppose I'm just like everyone else out there and I'm probably just like you in many ways. However, I do consider myself a charter member in the fraternity of dreamers who looks at the stars as periods to the ends of promising thought. Do you feel that way? There's always room.
I'm the one who tries to see beauty in everything. I try to remember most moments as important messages on an answering machine. I'm the one who believes that life is a gift. I'm the one who appreciates the little things in life. I love watching the birds work. I like watching the rain fall. I like feeling it even more... I try to not overthink the puzzle. If I think about it too much, I could miss the point. I'm the one who feels lucky. Lucky that my heart knows more than my brain. I'm the one who believes that certain pieces of music can affect the soul like a sermon affects the mind. I'm the one who ask questions when questions are frowned upon. I'm the one who fully acknowledges that I should have been a better student. I try to work in two speeds. Stop & Go. Nothing in between.
Twelve-something years ago, I began a trade that turned into a craft that turned into an art form. At least, I treat that part of my life that way... It makes going to work for 40+ hours a week seem important. And it is important if you have high expectations. Press on. Please.
All of sudden I feel important. Right now. Go figure.
I'm the one who feels that a movie's score is just as important as the dialogue. Maybe even more important, actually. I'm the one who always wants to enter a scarecrow making contest. And I'm the one who never underestimates the power of the peanut butter & jelly sandwich. Or, for that matter, the power of the peep-toe pump. For me, a good, ugly pair of flip flops will do the trick.
I try to consider everyone as everyone gets a first chance at something... I'm a believer. From an early age, I have always tried to identify myself, not by the things I have, but by the things I believe in...
Check this... I've never represented myself as anyone without flaws. Of course, I have them and I live through them... We're all guilty of having some baker's dozen worth of flaws, I'm betting... No single person is perfect, but I'm the one who feels that there can be perfect moments. I'm also the one who believes that those perfect moments can be shared, but that most of the perfection happens when we're alone.
I have a steady relationship with the moon and I feel like I am a better person for it...
Mistakes. Mistakes for the wrong reasons. Mistakes for the right ones. Mistakes I'd make again? Sure, but only a few. I'm a person who never likes to eat alone, but I will... The oceans fascinate me and the mountains make me feel like I'm in on a secret. I'll never look at a circus clown in the face.
I'm the one was never good with "goodbye." I always feel like there is a better way to say "farewell." In my early adolescence, I learned how to walk-then-run away from things... I (sometimes) wish that I didn't learn that ill-fated skill. It was then that I also learned how to push certain things aside and just 'get on with it.'
Aert van der Neer's "Moonlit Landscape with Bridge" inside the National Gallery in DC is my favorite painting... Nothing even comes close. The word, "twilight," is one of the coolest words in the dictionary and it happens to be my favorite time of day... That time where things sit still in the grey area for 15 minutes or so... Not quite the day, not really the night... If the powers-that-be could grant me one wish, I would suggest extending the twilight of any given day by about 30 minutes. An easy 45 minutes is all I would ask for... It's perfect, especially in the autumn. Experiencing it and embracing it is a gift that I am always happy to receive. This, I can talk about for hours... Do you have the time? I'll make it if you do...
I've experienced love. I've won. I've lost. I'm winning...
Regrets? I'm human, but I try not to have them... I believe that if we are to love, it should be in the "deeply" and "madly" kind of way. No take-backs... Is there any other way? I also believe that Jeff Buckley was right. "Every time somebody tells you that they love you, that 'I love you' flies away and you wait until the next one." Personally, I believe that to be terribly special and it rings true on so many levels. To me. Take nothing for granted... I always wait, but I'm rarely patient.
The first book I read... I mean, the first book I "really" read was "Window on the Square" by Phyllis A. Whitney. It stuck with me and I'll always keep it close. Thanks, Mom.
I'm the one who will question your soul if you get nothing out listening to "The Nude" by The Catherine Wheel. I'll never apologize for that... If "Fake Plastic Trees" doesn't make you melt, you're probably not on my Christmas card list. I'm the one who appreciates Robert Browning's epic, "Fra Lippo Lippi," like a fine glass of cabernet or a delicious and proper pint of Guinness. I'm guessing that 1855 had to be a good year to be Mr. Browning. "This world's no blot for us, Nor blank; It means intensely, and means good: To find its meaning is my meat and drink." Me, too, Bob, me too.
And "Harvey."
This post scratches the surface. This post was worn on my sleeve. That's it. Me, to an extent. Is there more to say? Yes. Does anyone care? Ummm. I'll take my chances... Cheers.
I'm thinking about my dad. Big day tomorrow. I want it over.
I should shower now. It's time.
Be good to yourself. Be good to each other. Today, tomorrow. bsm*
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